When Lewis Capaldi returned home for the Covid shutdown, he intended to begin working on his second record. His debut album, Divinely Uninspired to a Hellish Degree, sold the most copies in the United Kingdom in 2019 and would continue to do so in 2020.
It meant that expectations were high for the second album. He was experiencing stress, which would have physical and mental consequences.
The Scottish singer-songwriter tells the producers of a new Netflix documentary about his life,
“Creating my debut record was as close to a dream come true as you could possibly get.”
“But, as soon as the first record is successful, the question arises: can he do it again?”
Lewis Capaldi: How I Feel Now chronicles the star’s development from his youth in Whitburn, West Lothian, to chart success, a sold-out stadium tour, and superstar status.
Due to his honest humor and willingness to poke fun at himself, the self-proclaimed “Scottish Beyoncé” and “America’s love” has amassed a massive social media following.
“A global epidemic is merely one of the top three strange things that have occurred to me in the past three years,” he tells program producers.
Yet the video also examines the impact of his sudden achievement on his mental health, which has left him with panic episodes, a shoulder twitch, and a Tourette Syndrome diagnosis.
And it addresses his “imposter syndrome,” which not even a lovely email from Elton John informing him that he writes “wonderful music that resonates with millions” could cure.
After reading the email aloud, Capaldi adds,
“It’s lovely, but I still feel like a fraud, and I don’t think that will ever change.”
Throughout the documentary, his shoulder twitch appears to increase while he continues writing his second record, apparently fruitlessly.
Without trust in his abilities, he collaborates with other songwriters via Zoom from the garden shed of his parents before traveling to London and Los Angeles.
But he holds himself to a high standard, comparing everything to his breakthrough single Someone You Love, which reached number one on both sides of the Atlantic.
“I lack confidence in my abilities as a songwriter, and I believe this has gotten worse as my success has increased,” he admits.
The expression of his nervousness is a shoulder twitch.
“When I sit down to play the piano, my twitch becomes physically uncomfortable,” he tells the documentary makers.
“When I attempt to do it, I am quite short of breath and my back begins to hurt, which is rather… frightening.”
Capaldi also speaks openly about his panic attacks, which make him feel as though he is “going nuts.”
Lewis Capaldi states,
“I am utterly detached from reality.” “I am unable to breathe, I cannot feel the air entering my lungs, I am dizzy, I feel as though something is happening in my head, and I am sweating.
“My entire body begins to mimic my shoulder, and I begin to convulse. Either I’m going to be stuck in that position forever, or I’m going to die.”
Carol, his mother, can spend up to seven hours on the phone trying to calm him down.
According to Capaldi, these bodily symptoms are a completely acceptable response to his “world being turned upside down.”
“This seems like a perfectly typical reaction to me. If you are already an anxious person, like I was, and you are placed in this circumstance, you will experience something similar.
“I’ve never experienced the pressure that made me mature, but we’re there now, so we’ll just have to deal with it.”
A therapist informed him that some of his troubles stem from the childhood deaths of two close relatives, including the aunt whose suicide inspired Before You Go.
That feeds his health and mortality-related fears. Carol asserts that her son, like everyone else, is complex:
“He’s not just the comedian we all perceive him to be.”
His father, Mark, adds,
“And this may be where the problem lies as well.” “Because the darkness comes over the happy-go-lucky person and manifests itself in his tics, nervousness, and all the other things he’s surrounded by.”
Even though he originally resisted his family and friends’ efforts to seek treatment for his crippling twitch, writing, and recording for the second album were eventually put on hold for his mental health.
At that time, he was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome, a disorder characterized by involuntary sounds or movements known as tics.
This diagnosis relieved the self-proclaimed hypochondriac that he was not dying.
It has been suggested that he will have a significant improvement if he can lessen his anxiety, which he is attempting to do with medicine, exercise, and (relatively) healthy food.
Capaldi’s second album will be out this summer, and his fans will be hoping he learned from the popularity of his first.
“At times it was nerve-wracking since I didn’t know how to make an album, but it turns out that if you just write songs you enjoy and distribute them…”
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